beauty contrasting an otherwise shitty day

grown up

as a child
I dreamed
of skies filled with pillows,
and a moon that was the largest block of cheese known to man,
glistening in the depths of the night, holding an innocence that could only exist
in dreams.

andthingschange.....

toy guns become real,
and those we love
disappear.
love becomes a compromise of ideals instead of the uncontrollable emotion
that forced me to almost wet my pants,
kept my palms sweating,
hoped that my lips would touch the softness of another's,
drifted me to sleep to the sound of someone else's voice,
wishing of nothing else.
we forget about the romantic moments.
instead we await the taste of sex.

andthingschange..........

the astronauts we could not wait to be,
exploring the universe,
pushing through the sky like the black depths of the sea,
become irrelevant.
we push into conformity,
money,
the false requirements society places upon us,
and strain towards the lack-luster jobs we think we need.

andthingschange....................

needles pierce our skin.
ideas become set in stone.
we continue to fight for things now that we only think we know,
information becomes a double edge sword,
along with our words,
which we cannot help but use to exile ourselves from others.
we place worn out dirty guns in our hands hoping
that killing will make something clean,
it won't

andthingschange..........

now I dream of problems I cannot solve,
think that love no longer exists,
place the beautiful and soothing taste of Pabst down my throat
simply to keep my mind from
thinking,
dreaming,
moving,
crying.
what happened to broken guitar strings?
bloody fingers and thoughts of being a rockstar?
staying up all night simply because there was so much to do the next day that you could not wait?
when did my chest hollow it self out?
what happened to the heroes we loved?
did they start drinking?

andthingschange.....